It's June here in the U.S, and that means summer flings are heating up. School's out, friends are relaxing by the pool, and the beach life is providing more and more of a view of those summer figures.
It can be super confusing this time of year, as students head out into the wild unknown.
Structure is relatively at a minimum.
Friends are gathering around fertile places to start relationships.
And how many of us look back at the summertime in our own life, and see mistakes made from poor decisions.
The Song of Solomon talks a bit about the hormonal desire to waken love. "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Song of Solomon 8:4
In my new book, Expose on Teen Sex and Dating, I talk about how teenagers can begin the conversation with mentors who want to see them succeed through the confusing feelings of adolescence. I highlight a few items below.
1. Everybody is Doing it.
The most common problem concerning summer relationships is the pressure everyone else is finding someone to "hook up with." Teenagers feel Alone. They feel on the outside. They wonder, 'What's wrong with me?' And when those feelings start rising to the forefront of thought, regrettable decisions become a norm.
2. God's Timing.
For those of us who have faith in a sovereign plan, sometimes we wonder if God is holding out on us. After all, who wants to graduate from high school, or college, without ever having experienced a relationship? (obvious sarcasm here) I think often we rush into dating decisions because we wonder if God is still watching out for us. Did He forget about us? Did we miss the memo when He told us who we were supposed to begin a relationship with?
When we start wondering and questioning, sometimes it leads to a place in a relationship we don't anticipate.
3. Sometimes we're just not ready.
Most of the teen relationships I've witnessed travel WAY TOO FAST for the time they've known one another. I recently had a mother send me a skype conversation she found on her daughter's computer, and this ideal was confirmed. For whatever reason, the teenage nation can communicate explicitly on the computer when they would never use the same phrases in person. It's a strange day when teenagers are creating one life on the internet, and forgetting who they really are in person. I think most are simply copying the behavior they witness in the movies, on television, or with their favorite reality stars.
As the summer flings heat up this summer, be sure to check out the new book at http://www.exposeonteendatingbook.com, and feel free to write your comments, ask any questions, or feel free to share your story.
We're all in this together, and we need to find a way to help teenagers date without the consequences accompanied with purely not knowing.