I just realized we've had our oldest son in the home for over half the time we'll ever have him in the house. WOW!! He's 12 years old now, and if you think about it, when he's 24 he'll be out of school, out of the house, hopefully living his dreams in this great big world. WOW!! When you look at it like that, there's a sense of urgency that comes over us, doesn't it?
What are the next 6 years going to look like? What can I do to make sure I've given him the tools he'll need to face the world? Here we go….
THERE'S NO REPLACEMENT FOR TIME WITH YOUR SON
The other day I took Hays out to Moab for a little Mountain Biking. There were times he was frustrated, tired, and just wanted to give up; but with a little foresight we had several chances to connect. We spent real time together, and it was awesome!!
But Time is only a part of it. Quantity doesn't give way for Quality. Quality time is an important factor as we raise our sons. In fact, I don't know if you're aware of Robert Lewis (author, speaker, pastor, and trainer of men) but he gives men a few necessary items to be sure our sons have before they leave home.
1. Our sons need to hear "I Love you." It's up to Father's to step up to the plate and look your son in the eye and make sure he hears you say audibly I LOVE YOU.
2. Our sons need to hear "I'm Proud of You." When your son leaves the home, he needs to know without a doubt that you support him in his effort to figure out life.
3. Our sons need to hear we notice the things they're good at. We've got to be Father's who can recognize the God Given Gifts our sons have been given, even if they're different from our own.
Lewis' curriculum called "Men's Fraternity" is a valuable resource for men's groups to know what it means to be a man, and how to be a better father.
With all that said, there's no better way to present your sons with this stuff, than to make sure you're spending Quality Time with them.
Nobody is ever going to remember the time they got grounded for talking back to mom. Though necessary, discipline doesn't create men. In fact, another prominent speaker has said for years, 'Rules without Relationship always leads to Rebellion.' And I know that's true.
You're son is going to remember the time you climbed a mountain, and as the son was going down you looked him in the eye and told him how much you care for him, how much you admire him, and how good he is. And then, as your son faces the world, he'll be welcomed into the manhood club, and know there's someone in the world who loves him above all else.
Be sure you're taking quality time out of your day to give your sons what they need to survive this world. Let's curb the tide from the fatherless generation to a generation that values the relationships passed on from the old to young.