You know there are times in your life when relationships end up like this.  It might not be just in marriage, in fact; it may just be a friend, a co-worker, or family member, but the feeling is the same. 

You're mad.
They're mad.
Neither really wants to be mad.
Let's be honest, life is a lot easier when we're laughing and having a good time, right?

So what does it take for us to live a live in the abundance Jesus came for us to live? 

I think the answer is in Matthew…

 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But
if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every
matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If
he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses
to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax
collector." (Matthew 18:15-17)

Of course it sounds easy.
Why wouldn't we want to reconcile with one another?
Is it really worth the life spent living with a wedge of sin between each other?

It's all about pride isn't it?

Everybody wants to be the one who has the issue against them.
Nobody wants to be the one who has to humble himself to another.
Everybody sees themselves as the righteous one bringing justice.
Nobody thinks it might be their fault justice isn't served.
Everybody thinks they've got a corner on the market of truth.
Nobody thinks they're harming anyone.

You see, I think Biblical conflict resolution is a two way street. 

We've got to be humble enough to approach someone who has wronged us.  We can't go with arrogance.  We can't go with the intention of seeing someone humiliated in front of us.  It can't be a "I GOTCHA!" moment.  We have to go with an attitude of humility to those who've sinned against us.

And the receiver…

We've got to be humble enough to hear how our sin effected someone else.  We've got to hear the heart of someone we've hurt, and be able to swallow the lust for "right-ness" most of us harbor every day. 

Unfortunately, very few people are able to do this on a daily basis. 

But imagine for a minute….

If we could die to ourselves, and really give over to the needs of others…what would the world look like?


  1. Ouch!
    OK, it is hard to admit that I am wrong, harder still to genuinely care more about the heart I have hurt than to defend or try to explain my actions, when my sin is exposed.
    Ultimately, to be broken, humble, dead to self enough to allow the even more painful reality of how my sin has hurt someone else, but the heart of My Heavenly Father.
    Why does it seem hardest to be totally honest and humble with those we are closest to (family)? But if we aren’t totally honest and humble with each other, are we as truly close as we think we are?

  2. On Monday, Enough launched a week-long campaign to get 10 new congressional champions for the Conflict Minerals Trade Act, or HR 4128, which was introduced in the House of Representatives last fall. In just our first day, over two hundred activists responded by posting Facebook and Twitter messages asking these representatives to support the legislation.
    This bipartisan bill introduced by Rep. McDermott (D-WA) and Rep. Frank Wolf (R-VA) will help the United States take crucial steps to curb the trade in conflict minerals which are fueling the violence in eastern Congo. Before it can receive a full vote, this legislation has to pass two powerful committees – Foreign Affairs and Ways & Means.

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